lab 01 · cooking X
the cleanest pump on the market
94Pupump 119Mpmpure 2Heheavy 73Tatamine 120Mimint 10Neneon

he cooks pump. 96% pure.
every batch cleaner than the last.

this is the guy who makes pump. he used to be a chemistry teacher, then he found out that everyone in crypto was buying weak pump from random people, so he started cooking his own in this warehouse. his pump is 96% pure, and that is why every coin that gets a dose of it goes up. nobody else can make it this clean, and he knows it.

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CAlab results pending
REC · CAM 01
00:00:00
LAB 01 · REACTOR ROOM
PURITY 96.2%
pump-cam · closed circuit
▶ Cook with him
capsules poked 0

01Ck The Cook

help him cook eight batches of pump. press HEAT, watch the needle move across the gauge, and press CRYSTALLIZE while it is inside the green zone. the closer to the middle you hit, the purer the batch. miss the zone and the whole batch is ruined.

batch0/8
avg purity—
grams shipped0
ruined0

reactor is cold. press HEAT to start the batch, then catch the needle in the sweet spot.

21°C
space / tap also works
— lab log —

Shipping manifest

him warehouse 01 · signed by him · no half measures
  1. 01first batch. hands shaking, numbers not.—
  2. 02second batch. the smoke smells like money.—
  3. 03third batch. sold out before it cooled.—
  4. 04fourth batch. the competition retires.—
  5. 05fifth batch. a rival lab asks for the recipe.—
  6. 06sixth batch. the lab gets a bigger door.—
  7. 07seventh batch. the capsules glow in daylight.—
  8. 08eighth batch. the market has never seen this.—
99.1% pure

02Rb The Recipe Book

his rules for making pump. every batch you finish in the game opens one more page.

PAGE 01
Respect the chemistry

most people in this business treat the reaction like a vending machine. he treats it like a conversation, and the reaction has never once lied to him.

PAGE 02
No half measures

a batch at 80% is not a batch, it is an apology. he would rather pour it into the sand and start again than let it wear his name.

PAGE 03
Green is the signature

anybody can make a white capsule. the green one glows, and when it glows in a dark room everyone in that room knows exactly whose it is.

PAGE 04
Say my ticker

the buyers used to call it "the green stuff". then one of them said the ticker out loud, and he made him say it again, slower, until the whole warehouse heard it.

PAGE 05
The warehouse stays dark

daylight is for people with nothing to protect. the only light in here is the one coming out of the capsules, and it is enough to read the scale by.

PAGE 06
Nobody cuts the product

a distributor once stretched a batch with sugar to double the bags. the batch stopped glowing, the buyers stopped calling, and the distributor now sells car insurance.

PAGE 07
The goggles stay on the head

he has not pulled them over his eyes in years. he says he needs to see the color change with his own eyes, because the color is the only review he trusts.

PAGE 08
Stop at 99.1

he has the numbers for 100. he keeps them in his head and nowhere else, because a product that cannot get better is a product that has nowhere left to go.

03Ln Lab Notes

one capsule held up to the lamp, half white half green, glowing like a tiny traffic light stuck on go
exhibit a · the capsule
One is enough

he holds every batch up to the light one capsule at a time. if the green does not hum, the whole tray goes back in the reactor. nobody has ever seen him skip a capsule, and nobody has ever seen a dull one leave the building.

CAM 02
BATCH 04
exhibit b · the bowl
Fresh out of the reactor

this is what 96 looks like: the vapor is green, the glass is warm, and the bowl lights the room better than the lamp does. he says the first batch of the day is the one that sets the mood for the market, so he never cooks it tired.

CAM 03
PACKING
exhibit c · the bags
Packed by hand

every bag is counted twice and sealed once. he does not trust a machine to feel the weight of a batch, and he does not trust anyone else to seal it. the bags go out at dawn and come back empty by lunch.

04Sp Spec Sheet

him, holding one capsule up like it is the whole argument
Batch analysissample #0096 · lab 01 · signed
Purity
96.2% on the first batch, climbing one cook at a time. he refuses to call it 100 until he has personally tasted the number, and he does not taste the product.
Supply
one billion capsules, every single one cooked in this warehouse. there is no second lab, there is no franchise, and anyone who claims otherwise is selling you sugar.
Liquidity
burned in the same reactor that cooks the batches. he lit it himself, watched the green go, and went back to work before the smoke cleared.
Tax
0 / 0. he does not take a cut because he has never needed one. the product sells itself, and the man who cooks it is not in this for the fees.
Ownership
renounced. the lab belongs to the lab now. he just happens to be the only one who knows how to turn the lights on.
⚠ handle with gloves · keep away from dull coins · contents glow
him, looking at the number
99.1%

the purest pump ever cooked

eight batches, zero sugar, one warehouse. he wipes the scale, folds the gloves, and looks at the number for a very long time. then he starts the ninth.

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